• Polticish

    Don’t At Me…

    I find people are obsessed with anything that tells them for a fact who they are. From Astrology to Briggs Myers the search for self and people you’d like to interact with is deep and winding. Folks need your birth time and place followed up with your Truity results before you can grab a cup of coffee with them. But this isn’t really a drag on the folks who define themselves by their strong opinions, even if at times they ignore the problem with being hardnosed in these areas. Today we will drag folks who define themselves by having no opinion at all. One of my favorite movie quotes is…

  • Do The Work,  Friendship,  Relationships

    Now Was That Positively Toxic or Toxically Positive?

    I read a quote the other day that said “Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations.” To say these words were counteractive to the buzz my coffee was giving me is putting it mildly. I found the words depressing and heavy. I searched trying to find the morbid, acholic, gothic writer who obviously had penned this. This chick Siri had the nerve to tell me “Author Unknown.” So the only thing I got confirmed was the fact that someone really feels this way. And to me that meant someone also felt if they set no expectations, hoped for nothing, withdrew from situations before seeing if their dreams could manifest,…

  • Polticish

    #dohashtagswork?

    I’m a multigenerational Black American meaning my family came over during slavery. I never had to deal with much duality like an African or a Caribbean immigrant might. However, I was raised God first, Pridein Blackness next. So, I was aware that I was different and proud of that difference but there was really nothing that made me feel I was having a completely separate experience from other Americans. I had all the same little teeny bopper boy band crushes white teenagers had I just also happened to have a crush on Method Man. Something extra, a little spice. That’s how I viewed my Blackness. Like paprika. As I got…

  • Travel

    Dear Malpensa & Fiumicino Airports…I Hate You

    Anyone who has the occasion to travel  has a  best vacation ever story and worst vacation ever story. They also have a highway, or airport they avoid at all times. If you don’t have one yet, live a little longer. It’s coming. So of course, while speaking about travel I couldn’t help but mention the most incompetent butt backwards airport I’ve ever traveled through in my entire life. I’m sure you’ve thought of a few but if you didn’t think of Malpensa or Fiumicino International Airport in Milan and Rome Italy then you just didn’t come up with the right airports. My apologies to all the LaGuardia haters.  Have you…

  • Do The Work

    It’s Sabotage!

    You ever see something that is such a small read, but yet it somehow manages to live rent free in your head for a bit? It’s happened to me more than I care to mention over the last few months given that everything has been shut down and my screen time is now through the roof (shout out to Apple reminders.) A few weeks ago my mindless scrolling led me to a post about self-sabotage and I figured you guys would enjoy taking this little journey with me. You’re welcome. Here is the hot list of things we do to self sabotage. If you see yourself, just embrace it so…

  • Polticish

    Actions, Accountability and Our Edges

    I think by now we have all seen the Gorilla Glue situation. If not TLDR a young lady  named Tessica Brown used Gorilla Glue to lay her edges and smooth her hair for a ponytail. The glue did  not wash out.  Some of us have laughed, some of us have cried and some of us have done a little of both. Especially after hearing her age ( she is 40 ) I personally got very confused. I was grappling with “but why?” What motivated this woman to get so panicked that her edges were not laid that she grabbed REAL glue to do her hair? A follow up interview with…

  • Polticish

    Go Ahead, Smash the Patriarchy But Take the Garbage Out First

    I’m probably what people would consider a secular womanist. I don’t own a pink pussy cat hat but I’m fairly vocal on instances of injustice against all humans including those against my own gender. I tend to have moderate views as I can see clearly that politics is one vicious cycle that will perpetually leave the have nots having not, but you don’t have to be [ insert name of non canceled political pundit] to understand right is right and wrong is wrong. So as far as I am concerned the idea of dismantling a system that leaves women largely without power, i.e. the Patriarchy, isn’t a bad idea. Now,…

  • Friendship

    Forgiveness…Even If…

    I have a hard time forgiving people. My biggest issue with forgiving people is that once I am at the point where I feel I can no longer forgive you, I feel that I’ve already made so many concessions, that the faux paux that has you on the chopping block is a good enough reason for me to never speak to you again. And then I do it. It takes me a while but have I just never spoken to someone again in life? Actively ignored them while they were standing in front of me? You better believe it. I actually take pride in my ability to act like someone…

  • Relationships

    Gaslighting, The Light that Keeps on Giving

    I’m what most consider to be a nice person. I’ve even been accused of having an almost naïve childlike disposition. Understanding, wide eyed…ready for the slaughter. I think this is especially true in dating. I have no problem admitting I’m an easy mark for most men. Some either “just wish they were good enough for me…” or they “just wish I wasn’t ‘so good’ “ But no matter what type of man I interact with they all use the same method as their exit strategy. Gaslighting, and I’m starting to take it personally.  I find people take exception to being accused of gaslighting. Gaslighting is an abusive behavior, specifically when…

  • Friendship

    Was It Retrograde… Or Was It You?

    Just as I was about pondering what I should write about, my Kombucha literally exploded all over my keyboard. I sat there for a second just staring at the orange goop as it sprawled over the table and my laptop, before I ran to get paper towels. As I cleaned I thought “one last kick in the pants from retrograde, thanks…” It’s been a rough couple of weeks.  If you’re not sure what retrograde is I’ll expound. Basically it’s a celestial Murphy’s Law that supposedly occurs a few times a year. It wreaks havoc on communication and electronics. I personally am not superstitious…but I am a little sticious so I…